He said she said...

She said:

"Mommy? What are those?"

"Fingernails"

"What?" a bit horrified.

"I'm cutting my fingernails."

"Oh yeah...sometimes I eat these!"

WTF?

He said:

"Did Juli pee on your bed?"

"I don't think so...did she?"

"Yeah but on the other side."

"Oh, that's ok then! That means she pee-peed on dad's side!"

"No, on YOUR bed!"

"Yea, you're right. It is my bed."

"When is dad going to get his own bed?"