First tooth out! And our family ride...

Huzzah!
The tooth is out!
Bubblegum is trying to convince me that another one is wiggly...but not so much!
At least he won't be one of those kids who loose all their front teeth at once and look like they got their teeth punched out! He would like it but it's picture day soon!

And look at these cute pics...our family outing! Had a blast on the trails in Winter Park and ready for our cross country trip! Well....almost.

Little Birthday Boy

Today is the day I had Bubblegum - only 6 years ago!
It really feels like yesterday. I have such vivid memories...In March of 2001 I announced my pregnancy. Actually, it was my mom who announced it to me.
I had been telling her how sick I felt and how my legs were cramping. I was sure it was all sympathy pain. My mother had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer stage 3. She had already had 1 surgery to balloon open a vein in her leg and insert a shunt in her chest. She had begun chemotherapy and just generally felt like hell. I liked to think that I was close enough to her to wake up in the middle of the night with pains in my legs and assume she was having pain at that same moment. It kept me praying for her, but it didn't dawn on me that I might be pregnant. I was 19!
I can remember peeing on a stick for the first time...which one do I buy? How do you do this without splashing everywhere? Are there really 2 lines or does the double line count as one? Maybe I should do another one just in case...
Anyway, when I started feeling even more sick I thought for sure something was wrong with the baby. How could anyone be this sick just because they were pregnant?
Then we had a sonogram! Bubblegum was a verrrrry active little fetus! But we finally caught a shot of his baby butt and little boy parts when he mooned the camera!
A BOY!!!
I knew it would be. I didn't even consider the fact that it could have been a girl. Neither did my mom. And she immediately started buying stuff for him!
On the morning of September 11th I sat down to watch my favorite morning talk show, and watched in horror as the second plane came crashing through the second trade tower. I put my hands protectively around my full belly and called my mom...
On December 10th at 2am I woke up with a baby bouncing on my bladder. As I got up to waddle to the bathroom I felt a gush of warmth down my legs. Did I just pee myself? Cause that would be a first for me...
Then I realized my water had broken! "Jooooooohn!"
Off we went to the hospital with an exhilarating rush! My contractions started immediately. But it wasn't to be that simple.
I had aspirations to have a natural birth with this baby. I do have a very high pain tolerance. But after 12 hours of contracting and only progressing to 3 centimeters I broke and asked for Stadol. NEVER I repeat NEVER ask for Stadol! Loopy doop! It did help me sleep though, but a tortured sleep full of visions and freaky dreams. Finally the doctors said I needed some help and started a Pitossin drip. Then I really did need an epidural. Things went quickly after that but the epidural hadn't been done correctly and had left me with a severe headache. To this day I am not sure how I pushed that boy out while suffering a severe migraine. My eyeballs were so strained that they broke all the little capillaries inside and around them!
Bubblegum was born at 7:53 December 10th at Florida Hospital Rollins just 6 floors below my mother, who was on the cancer floor recovering a full hysterectomy.
It was such a difficult time. A low so severe that depression was beginning to sink in, and a high so high! My first baby...my boy, my little Bubblegum!
I know without a doubt that even though this precious child wasn't my plan, he was God's. My mother's one dream was to have grandchildren. She had planned for it for years! Stashing toys away, planning what the kids should call her (dran-ma) and how she would wear her hair when it turned gray (in a long braid down her back).
She got to love Bubblegum for the first three months of his life before she passed away. He was among the few rare things she would always smile about through all the pain and misery. And she certainly didn't fail to impart her maternal wisdom on me as I began this new journey of motherhood!
Bubblegum was and still is such a joy. Everyday he makes me laugh - every other day he makes me cry, tears of joy at my baby boy. I don't know what I would do without him.

Back on the horse

Tomorrow I will officially be back in the saddle!
Jasper is his name and hopefully he will turn out to be a horse I can improve my riding style on. Cause right now my style is every horse hates being ridden and will try to get you off any way it can, so hang on for dear life! Then there is no relaxing and enjoying.
It has been nearly 2 years since I've even been on a horse. I really should stop getting pregnant! That seems to be the main contributing factor to this sad truth.
Anyhow, I am excited that I get the chance to expand this part of who I am. I know everyone thought I just had horse fever like so many little girls and one day it would just go away. Well, it hasn't. And it won't.
Sometimes I think I feel closer to my mom when I am on a horse. She would say that is silly. But I cannot help but feel like I got her horse crazy gene and haven't been able to put it to use until now.
I won't ever compete in the olympics, I probably won't ever even be in a horse show. But if all I ever do is learn enough to teach all those little girls, who are like I once was, how to ride a horse, then I'll be happy!

Public recognotion

I normally do not like people to notice me.
If given a choice I would not get up in front of people. No attention please!
Now you all know where my little Jellibean gets her quirks!
But yesterday I really apprecited my public recognition. In fact it seems that it was God ordained, which is even cooler because then it seems to be a message from God himself. That gives me goosebumps!
Now, please understand that I am not sharing this in order to toot my own horn.
I've seen the amazingness of God in this and how He always knows just when we need a little pick-up or word of encouragement to make it through another day.
My rule for the kids when we are all out somewhere together is to stay together. When we first pile out of the van everyone must stay right next to the car until everyone is ready to walk through the parking lot or cross the street together.
But yesterday Jellibean lost her head. She jumped out of the van and skipped into the street with her head in the clouds. My heart leaped into my throat. No cars....thank God! But I wanted to scream at her! I work so hard to teach my kids what's safe and right. When they do something so stupid as dashing into the street without a thought, it really makes me want to scream. Like maybe screaming will create such a fear in them that they will remember for the rest of their lives that dashing into the street means mom will scream.
But when I really think about it, I realize that the more important thing is to teach them that running into the street could be deadly, and that they are so precious to me I could not live without one of them if something bad happened. Somehow I know that will stick in their heads longer than any angry screaming. So, I called Jellibean in from the road and got down to her level.
What would I do without you? You have to remember not to cross the street without me! You could get hurt and I would be sad forever! Jesus was watching over you today. Do you understand?
Then we took hands and continued across the road into the store.
There was a young black women there ringing the bell for the salvation army. She stopped me. She first told me that she was also a mother and that my girls were so pretty.
Well, thank you...
But she went on. She said "I just have to tell you...I saw what just happened with her running into the street...I don't know if you go to church or not but I do..."
I felt the spirit turn...ahhh....a God fearing woman. Still a stranger but now really not so much! I told her we did attend a church.
"Oh good - then you know - the bible says to train up a child in the way they shoud go. It says they will grow up in their own ignorance if there is no training. And we all know that the ignorance of a child can get them into some big time trouble with the law, with their school, with their families. And it's our job to train them so that doesn't happen. I just wanted you to know that as a mother I really appreciated how you handled that situation with you litte girl. Most moms just scream and yell and tell that child they gonna whoop their butts if they run out in the road ever again...but you took the time to talk to her. And that's called training a child in the way they sould go."
WOW! I told her thank you for that encouragement and went on my way. But the more I thought about it the more I realized how right she was. And I really was encouraged. And I was really excited too. Because my whole calling as a God fearing woman is to stand apart from the crowd. To be noticeably different and have people say, "What does she have that I don't have...I want it too!" And thus open the door of their heart for Jesus to jump in with his still small voice. Or sometimes with the voice of a salvation army bell ringer!

Thanksgiving

"In all things give thanks..."
Do you know what those words really mean? Not in your head, in your heart.
The Lord wants us to be grateful in all things. Not just when the sun is shining and your day is running smoothly.
He wants us to be thankful even on the day my mother died of cancer, or on the day you lost your unborn child, or on the day your divorce was final. Doesn't that sound impossible? How can this be?
But the whole idea is to look at Jesus as our role model. The evening before the day he was to be crucified, for sins he hadn't committed, he cried out to God in such earnest that his sweat turned into blood. He prayed for God to change his mind, saying "remove this cup from me..."
But in the same breath our Lord made sure to say "Yet not my will, but yours be done..."
Jesus lived His whole life to glorify the Father. He walked the earth, he saw the evil and the filth and the death first hand. He cried out against it, all the while knowing he would be the one to suffer the ultimate evil, the death that would be the only way for us to have life.
In everything Jesus was thankful. Not that he wasn't distressed, or sad or even angry. But that in everything he trusted and had faith and glorified God. What better way to show his love?
The same thing is not asked, it is required of us!
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
"Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in EVERYTHING give thanks; for this IS God's will for you in Jesus..."
This still takes me back to the question how is this possible?
How do you give thanks to God through the death of a mother, or a father, or a son or daughter?
How do you give thanks to God when your husband is cheating, or your best friend is being diagnosed with cancer?
How do you give thanks to God when you are being handed over to the authorities by someone you loved, and being condemned and tortured and spit at and humiliated and nailed to a cross, all by the very people you came to serve?
And that is just it...through all that was done to Jesus, it was God's will being done. And it is the same in our lives, whether we mean for it to be or not. Looking critically at our lives will show that even in everything we suffer through in this life, it is NOTHING compared to what Jesus has done for us!
So, now when I am having a bad day, or I am tempted to focus on what is wrong in my life, marriage, finances, family, and health, I am learning to remember who suffered for me; I am the sinner, I am guilty not HE - yet he suffered so much just for me! And he was thankful and faithful to the end and through him the will of the most high holy God was fulfilled!
And when I remember all that, I think "what the hell do I have to complain about?"
And I begin thanking God for the things that I have.
Thank you God that I have a husband and father for my children, No matter how wrong or annoying he seems.
Thank you that my children are alive and flourishing, No matter how many nights a week they cough all night, or how many earaches they have a month.
Thank you for the job and the money You provided for us last week and are providing again this week, no matter how much more we think we need.
Thank you that your hand is my guide and your death is my life.
Thanksgiving...

The calm before the storm...

It is so quiet in my house right now.
My kids are off school this week for Thanksgiving. I actually am pretty excited about being with them all week. I just know it'll be crazy, to say it nicely.
But for this moment, all is quiet. Bubblegum and Jellibean are with the grandparents. Baby Poni is napping, and I am relishing!

Happy Birthday Jellibean

On this day, 4 years ago I pushed a tiny person out of my body and into our little world.

Jellibean was my first girl and the one to prove me wrong about having girls! When I first found out I was expecting I was excited and praying for a boy. I am sorry to say her daddy and I both cried when we found out it was a girl. No not those tears of joy that every child deserves, those tears of fear and anger.
"What are we supposed to even do with a girl?!" We both wanted to know.
But as soon as she came out and I saw her beautiful features and her ever kissable lips I knew just what to do with her!

Put her in pink and pink and MORE PINK!!!

And to this day that's what she wants.


I am thankful for every moment I have with my Jellibean. Even in those moments that I am angry with her the most, in my heart I know she and I are growing together. And every day our trials are bringing us closer to understanding each other better and thus deepening our love.
Happy Birthday my sweet Jellibean!

Right now in my world...

I always write about things that happened in my day. It's good but all past tense. So today I am going to tell you about my world right now, this very instant.
Jellibean is sitting in her dolly highchair, favorite baby doll in hand. Her shirt is pulled to one side so the doll can "breastfeed" and she is smiling.
Baby Poni is watching raptly and every now and then shakes her tushy to the music playing through the television. It is Delirious.
The new table and curtains I bought for our house look so great and I am proud of myself.
Juli's birthday is tomorrow and her party is the next day. I am very busy, but just stopping here for a minute to breath in the moment is so wonderful.
The Lord's hand is in everything I see around...even down to the table and curtains.
I am revived and my spirit is quickened with His love and awesome power. In just a few seconds I am lifted up and reminded of my calling and my promises to Him and to my family and to myself.
He is good, His loving kindness is everlasting.

Again the sickness

Baby Poni is sick yet again.
She was the one kid that I promised myself I wouldn't get behind on as far her shot schedule goes. And now she is behind since the last thing I am going to do is weaken her defenses when everyone else in the house has snotty noses and aching ears.
So, HI HO, it's back to Franz we go.
I bet she'll be on two different homeopathics and the nebulizer machine by the time we get home. Boy, that'll be fun!
The only thing I do not want is the antibiotic they always try and push...
Not only does it ravage her little tummy but it will negate all the immune system building I've been doing with her for the past few months.
Of course, if all those vitamins and probiotics aren't going to keep her from getting sick EVERY time someone else in the house is, than why do I bother...because it is a bother. She doesn't take medicine well at all! Except, of course, for Tylenol. My only answer to that mystery is that Tylenol must be more than half sugar and the rest is Acetaminophen.

And she says...

"ohhhhhh, my tummy hurts!"
Jellibean was an emotional mess this morning. What am I saying? She is EVERY morning. Just not a morning person I guess...gets it from me.
So, I have her go lay down on the couch where she proceeds to roll around clutching at her stomach. Maybe I should get a bucket? Nahhh...she's just being dramatic. I let her rest for a few minutes and then came back to check on her.
"How is your tummy now?"
"It's better...but I still need Tylenol for my leg...OHHHHHHHHH!"
I go for the drugs...she's been so crabby about her legs lately but she will be four in three weeks and I bet she is growing.
I come back to give her the medicine and she is clutching her stomach again.
"Wait, does your tummy still hurt or not?"
"No! I told you already!" (hiss hiss)
"Then why are you wrapping your arms around your tummy?"

"BECAUSE I JUST LOVE MYSELF!"

Funny Bunny

The newest addition to our household, Snowcone Jedi.

Call me crazy, but Bubblegum has thanked me three times a day since we got the little bunny. He was aching for a pet. This is the coolest rabbit I have ever seen. And that's saying something since we had a bazillion rabbits when I was young. We started off with two and mated them on purpose. But then we found out very quickly that bunnies can "do it" through the cage! At one point we had 20 some odd bunnies running around the house!
As babies they were always nice. But it seems like at a certain age the wildness in rabbits takes over and they just get nasty, aloof or scared out of their minds.
This bunny loves to play with people! Except for Poni who pulls his hair out! Ouch, sorry funny bunny! Isn't he the cutest little thing you've ever seen!

"Scleletons" in our closet

We don't celebrate Halloween.
Last time I remember doing Halloween, I was so young that EVERYTHING scared me!
Our neighbor lady had dressed up as a witch complete with wart and hat. She was standing out on her driveway with what I remember to be, a GIANT cauldron of steaming green goo. I figured that was where she would cook us if she could get us. I held tighter to mom's hand. Somewhere about the age of 4 we didn't celebrate anymore. And it has always been fine by me. I am very sensitive to scary things. They bring up evil things in my mind and spirit and that is NOT cool with me or for my family.
So, we bypass Halloween by having a special movie night. The couch cushions and blankets become a tent. We drag pillows and stuffed animals to the living room, turn off every light in the house so we appear to be away from home, and we watch Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss, the funniest 80's movie ever made!
But...you knew that was coming!
This year Bubblegum is in Kindergarten. I have explained to him in simple terms how he can tell his friends why we don't do Halloween. And he gets it. But that doesn't mean he won't be participating in the stories and art projects that are all Halloween related. Mostly they seem to be fall projects but I have a feeling I will see more and more art pieces like this one.

The best part about it is the writing Ben does. He likes to spell things for himself and if everything was spelled how it sounds, he would be right every time!
Take this pumpkin for example. Ben named it Pumpkiny. And he just had to write on it.

Can you decipher for yourself how he feels about his little pumpkin friend?

Crap the coconut?

"Mom! Dad got me a coconut!"

"Cool, Bubblegum!"

"Where's the hammer? I'm gonna crap it!"

"Say what?"

"Come on, help me! We gotta crap the coconut and get the milk out!"
And now doubly loud "Hey DAD! Come on and watch me CRAP THIS COCONUT!"

Ok, now I am laughing my ass off!

Up the Down Slide

Check out what my little monkey can do!
I'm thinking we should enter the next agility competition. Never mind the fact that all the other contestants will be mucho hairy with lappy tongues and waggy tails!

Waiting for Guinness...

We have undoubtedly set a record!
Usually this would be said with pride - alas our record sucks.
We, particularly I, have been sick for a month now.
Now don't get all righteous on me yet. I know there are plenty of people/families out there who will claim they have been sick way longer than that, and if one of them is reading this they are ready to jump at my throat and spew their story about being ill for months and years and lifetimes! And I will succumb to their claims since this really isn't the record I am claiming to have set.
No, my record is much more fun, juicy and YELLOW!
As a family we have undoubtedly set the record for Family with the most MUCOSA!
That's right, I have seen enough yellow snot in the past month to drive any mother into a hysteria! I seem to be swimming in a cesspool of filth no matter how much I clean! Boogers on the wall, snot on the pillows, mucus on the bed covers and couches and lugies in the sinks!
Yes, we have definitely set a record.
Now I am just waiting on Guinness to decide on a prize.
Maybe a free round of Amoxicillin - I'll take mine in a double shot glass please!

Boob central...

Milking Moms Rock!

Poni and I are at the 1:51 mark - and BTW this video makes me...ummmm...lets just say it is too sweet! Kudos to all you moms...you are beautiful!

Breast Fest!

Thanks to Fidget over at Finding yourself despite yourself, I am now on board with this Breast Fest shindig! Give the button a click and find out for yourself the big deal going on worldwide at 10am on Oct. 10th.



This is me and Jellibean!



And this is me and Baby Poni!

MY SCRAPBLOG

The WHITE spot!

It has arrived!
No...not the black spot, not the infamous plague! The white spot!
After months of hype, the white spot has finally shown up...on Baby Poni's gums!
Yes, my little nipple gummer will soon be a full fledged nipple biter!
At nearly 10 months old, I was beginning to wonder where this child's teeth were - so today is a milestone!


Oh, and just an extra note, this kid is also starting to let go of the furniture when she stands! She is very proud of herself and giggles every time!